Light Fingers 9 - Transitions
Nov. 8th, 2008 11:08 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aearwenLife changes drastically for Ivoreth.
Chapter 9 - Transitions
This is a dream – this isn’t real. I will wake up again, and this will all go away. I’ll be back on the ledge in the cistern.
Ivoreth ran her hand in the grass just beyond the blanket absently, watching Lord Elladan play with Raini. The little girl was laughing wildly as the man would swing her up high in the air and then swoop her down almost to the ground. Every once in a while, he would glance over in her direction with an expression of warmth that would both comfort and confuse her. Beside her on the blanket sat Lord Elrohir, whose quiet support was in the form of an arm wrapped around her shoulders over the top of a thin blanket and a solid chest to lean against while sitting in the sun.
She still couldn’t believe it. Lord Elladan had told her that he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her and Raini behind in Minas Tirith without knowing where they would end up or how they would live. His promise to her, as well as knowing her attitude toward orphanages, meant that he couldn’t place either of them there and then hope that all would work out well. And with no real way of finding a new home for her himself before the time came to leave, he had decided to take them with him to his home far to the north. He had spoken to his brother about it over the course of the last two days, and Elrohir had eventually agreed with him.
And so it was that after shocking her in the downstairs sitting room of the Houses of Healing, he had taken her to the apartment he shared with his brother; and there the two of them had talked to her about what they hoped would happen. Celebriel, a good friend of theirs, had agreed to watch over them when Lord Elladan wasn’t available – both during the long trip north and afterwards. Later that afternoon, Ivoreth and Raini would be measured for new clothes, to be made for them before they left. By the time this trip to the garden was over, a room of their own in Lord Elladan’s residence would be ready for them. They would not be returning to their room in the Houses of Healing.
This doesn’t happen to folks like us.
In the wink of an eye, Ivoreth had gone from a poor orphan to a fosterling of a Lord, and evidently word was spreading. When the three of them had stopped to pick up Raini for her trip to the garden, the healer Liriel had given her just the slightest nod of the head in respect – the first time Ivoreth had ever seen that gesture made in her direction. She’d stared, not knowing quite how to respond, until Elrohir had draped the thin blanket from Raini’s bed about her shoulders and steered her out the door past the healer.
Raini, of course, had been delighted to see her new friend, running up to him without fear and clinging to a leg until lifted high into the air and then settled on a hip. The look of joy and welcome on Lord Elladan’s face as he caught up her little sister in his arms had added to the sense of being caught up in a dream.
“This is good for him,” Lord Elrohir said quietly, his voice very gently pulling her concentration away from the others. “It will be good for Imladris. Too long has it been since we’ve had the sound of children’s laughter in our halls, and we will need that joy to sustain us when our father finally departs these lands.” A large hand smoothed away rebellious locks of hair. “And it will be good for you – a place far away from all that has caused you grief, where it will be safe to learn to laugh and trust again. Your sister will never know the sadness you have – that should lift your spirits.”
Ivoreth drew in a long breath. Yes, it would be good to get away from here, with all the bad memories. Just the thought that she never would have to go back to the cistern again was a huge weight from her shoulders. That Raini would never need to understand the desperation that was living that close to the end of everything was a dream come true.
The only regret she had – the only regret she would ever have in leaving the White City, and one that would stay with her for the rest of her life – would be not to know what had happened to Daren.
Is he even still alive – or have they already put his back to the wall and an arrow through him?
“There is one who would speak to you before you leave, however, about how and where you survived these long years since your father died,” Elrohir continued, and Ivoreth drew herself away a little and looked up at him. “My sister worries that there may be others like you, children so fearful of what might await them in an orphanage that they feel they must hide and steal to survive. She wants to help them – and she’ll need your help to do so.”
“Your sister?” Ivoreth blinked her surprise.
Lord Elrohir smiled down at her. “She has listened to Elladan’s stories about you as well, you know – and she supported his decision to take you two as his fosterlings. She spent long hours trying to reorganize the orphanages, once there was peace – I think your Da’s stories pointing to a history of ill treatment of the children entrusted to those places came as a shock. Among our people, such a thing is unthinkable. The idea that there might be more children out there, others suffering as you and Raini suffered, is of great concern to her.”
She leaned back against the hard chest again with another long sigh. This was all too unreal. It had to be a dream.
Nobody listens to the words of an orphan – a thief.
“Will you help her?”
Ivoreth blinked, her mind suddenly called back to the topic of Lord Elrohir’s conversation.
Help who? Lord Elladan’s sister? He’s really serious?
“I’ll tell her as much as I can,” Ivoreth agreed reluctantly, “but I can’t tell her where we were. I won’t…” She caught back the rest of her statement. Just the admitting to the fact that there were indeed others was already a partial betrayal.
The large hand smoothed her hair again. “That’s all that is asked, little one. But would you not want to help those who were with you to better their futures too?”
“Not if it means turning them over to an orphanage!” slipped out in a bitter, biting tone before she could think better of it. She cringed, waiting for the harsh words and blows that were her usual payment for such insolence. The last time she’d talked back to anyone in that way, she’d been thrown into a wall – and before that, using that tone with any adult, including her Da, had usually earned her a scolding and either a slap or a heavy cuff that would drive her to the floor.
“Shhhh…” Lord Elrohir’s arm about her shoulder tightened slightly. “Nobody would ask that of you – especially if they were aware of the nature of the stories you heard when you were younger.”
Slowly Ivoreth relaxed again as Lord Elrohir showed no signs of striking her or even speaking sternly to her, and finally she closed her eyes and leaned again as his free hand kept on stroking her hair slowly. Out in the garden, Raini laughed again, and Lord Elladan laughed with her.
He’s being too nice. Life is never this good. This has to be a dream.
Please don’t let me wake up!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Daren!”
Ivoreth came straight up in her bed, her heart pounding and her eyes searching the darkness wildly. Then she slowly lay back down against her comfortable pillow and pulled the soft, warm blanket over her shoulders. After a few moments of being unable to prevent the tears from welling up, she rolled to one side and clenched her eyes shut tight.
Only a dream!
It had seemed so real – she could see her little brother in a small group of boys off in the distance. She’d waved, but he hadn’t seen her; and so she had begun running. But the harder she ran, the further away Daren had become. Finally, she had seen a Guard come from behind the group and, with a drawn sword, begin herding the boys away from her. When the sword had begun swinging, she had awakened.
For three nights, now, she’d had the same dream. And for three nights, she hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, for fear of seeing the consequences of that swinging sword. For the first time in her life, Ivoreth found herself praying that Daren had been taken off to an orphanage and then sold – at least then he’d still be alive. And if Da’s tales were the truth, the chance to run away and make a better life for himself would come someday. But if the sword’s swing were final…
No. She wouldn’t even consider that.
Ivoreth heard the door to the bedroom she shared with her sister open quietly, and she knew there was a low light entering the room through her closed eyelids. A weight settled on the bed next to her. “Another bad dream?” asked a musical voice in a whisper. She nodded, rolled toward her visitor and opened her eyes.
She was sure she would never get used to the idea that someone actually cared enough to hear her when she cried out and come to see that she was all right, much less that this person would pull her up into warm arms and hold her close. And yet, for each of the nights that her dreams had brought her straight up in bed with a cry, Lord Elladan had come in to her soon after she awoke and, with a hug and a shoulder to lean on, given her comfort. He didn’t tell her that she was just being silly for getting so upset over a dream – he just held her close and made her feel safe.
And, as he had each of the previous times, he asked about the dream. “Won’t you tell me about it?” he whispered into her ear, this time adding, “How can I help you if you won’t tell me what it is that breaks your sleep this way?”
You can’t help me – you can’t bring Daren back.
Ivoreth slowly moved her arms to encircle Lord Elladan’s neck and clung. “Daren,” was all she could manage before her throat closed down on her.
“Tell me.” The arms tightened. “Nothing can harm you now – tell me what you saw in your dream.”
Slowly, painfully, Ivoreth told him her nightmare, finding that remembering the details was almost as bad as dreaming them again. Finally she just buried her nose under Lord Elladan’s chin. “I miss him,” she choked out.
“I know you do, little one,” Lord Elladan told her gently. “And I wish I could tell you that he’s safe and secure where he is. It is not knowing that is the worst, I think – you have all the time in the world to think up all the most horrible things that could happen.”
“Yes…” she agreed, her voice quivering.
He does understand!
“Why do I keep dreaming the same thing every night?” Ivoreth asked after a long moment.
“Because that is when your mind is quiet enough that all your fears and worries can visit you without being interrupted,” he explained in a soft voice, “and because that is when you are most open for your imagination to run away with you.” She felt him loosened his hold and pulled her away from him a little so that he could look into her face. “But talking about your fears with someone else can help. Every time you face your worries and fears enough to speak of them robs them of a little bit of their power to interrupt your sleep.”
She searched his face for signs that he was just telling her stories – and found only an open expression of fondness and concern. “Do you ever have bad dreams?” she asked with a small voice.
“Oh yes!” Lord Elladan pulled her back to him. “Once, long ago, my dreams were truly terrifying,” he admitted. “Everyone has times like that, Ivoreth. But over time, my dreams slowly went away – and yours will too.”
“I don’t want to forget Daren,” Ivoreth complained softly.
“You won’t, sweetling,” he soothed. “But one day, the sad memories will only give you a dull ache, rather than make you suffer as you do now – and you will begin to be able to remember other things that were better.”
I don’t want to remember. I want Daren.
“Lord Elladan?”
“Just Elladan, Ivoreth. Such formality shouldn’t exist between members of a family.”
That thought, stated in such simple, gentle terms, took Ivoreth’s breath away.
Family. He considers me family?
“You wished to ask me something?” he whispered when Ivoreth didn’t continue.
“Family?” she whispered in wonder.
“Yes, family,” he replied, his voice smiling. “I am your foster father now.”
“But…” Ivoreth pushed herself away this time so that she could look up into what she could see of his face in the candlelight. “Why me? Why Raini?”
“Because you were the ones that Eru put in my path,” Elladan answered simply. “It was you that those Guards were attacking – and then you came to find me when Raini became too ill for you to take care of her. And the more I got to know you and your sister, the more fond I grew of you – until finally, I couldn’t just leave you two behind, not knowing what would happen to you.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. “Do you understand?”
No, I don’t. But I’m glad you chose us!
Ivoreth leaned forward again and gave a small smile when she felt the arms close around her as she nestled her nose beneath his chin again. Family! She wasn’t alone anymore. She closed her eyes and felt safer in that moment than she had since before her Da had died.
I just wish Daren were here to share this. He deserves a chance.
Chapter 9 - Transitions
This is a dream – this isn’t real. I will wake up again, and this will all go away. I’ll be back on the ledge in the cistern.
Ivoreth ran her hand in the grass just beyond the blanket absently, watching Lord Elladan play with Raini. The little girl was laughing wildly as the man would swing her up high in the air and then swoop her down almost to the ground. Every once in a while, he would glance over in her direction with an expression of warmth that would both comfort and confuse her. Beside her on the blanket sat Lord Elrohir, whose quiet support was in the form of an arm wrapped around her shoulders over the top of a thin blanket and a solid chest to lean against while sitting in the sun.
She still couldn’t believe it. Lord Elladan had told her that he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her and Raini behind in Minas Tirith without knowing where they would end up or how they would live. His promise to her, as well as knowing her attitude toward orphanages, meant that he couldn’t place either of them there and then hope that all would work out well. And with no real way of finding a new home for her himself before the time came to leave, he had decided to take them with him to his home far to the north. He had spoken to his brother about it over the course of the last two days, and Elrohir had eventually agreed with him.
And so it was that after shocking her in the downstairs sitting room of the Houses of Healing, he had taken her to the apartment he shared with his brother; and there the two of them had talked to her about what they hoped would happen. Celebriel, a good friend of theirs, had agreed to watch over them when Lord Elladan wasn’t available – both during the long trip north and afterwards. Later that afternoon, Ivoreth and Raini would be measured for new clothes, to be made for them before they left. By the time this trip to the garden was over, a room of their own in Lord Elladan’s residence would be ready for them. They would not be returning to their room in the Houses of Healing.
This doesn’t happen to folks like us.
In the wink of an eye, Ivoreth had gone from a poor orphan to a fosterling of a Lord, and evidently word was spreading. When the three of them had stopped to pick up Raini for her trip to the garden, the healer Liriel had given her just the slightest nod of the head in respect – the first time Ivoreth had ever seen that gesture made in her direction. She’d stared, not knowing quite how to respond, until Elrohir had draped the thin blanket from Raini’s bed about her shoulders and steered her out the door past the healer.
Raini, of course, had been delighted to see her new friend, running up to him without fear and clinging to a leg until lifted high into the air and then settled on a hip. The look of joy and welcome on Lord Elladan’s face as he caught up her little sister in his arms had added to the sense of being caught up in a dream.
“This is good for him,” Lord Elrohir said quietly, his voice very gently pulling her concentration away from the others. “It will be good for Imladris. Too long has it been since we’ve had the sound of children’s laughter in our halls, and we will need that joy to sustain us when our father finally departs these lands.” A large hand smoothed away rebellious locks of hair. “And it will be good for you – a place far away from all that has caused you grief, where it will be safe to learn to laugh and trust again. Your sister will never know the sadness you have – that should lift your spirits.”
Ivoreth drew in a long breath. Yes, it would be good to get away from here, with all the bad memories. Just the thought that she never would have to go back to the cistern again was a huge weight from her shoulders. That Raini would never need to understand the desperation that was living that close to the end of everything was a dream come true.
The only regret she had – the only regret she would ever have in leaving the White City, and one that would stay with her for the rest of her life – would be not to know what had happened to Daren.
Is he even still alive – or have they already put his back to the wall and an arrow through him?
“There is one who would speak to you before you leave, however, about how and where you survived these long years since your father died,” Elrohir continued, and Ivoreth drew herself away a little and looked up at him. “My sister worries that there may be others like you, children so fearful of what might await them in an orphanage that they feel they must hide and steal to survive. She wants to help them – and she’ll need your help to do so.”
“Your sister?” Ivoreth blinked her surprise.
Lord Elrohir smiled down at her. “She has listened to Elladan’s stories about you as well, you know – and she supported his decision to take you two as his fosterlings. She spent long hours trying to reorganize the orphanages, once there was peace – I think your Da’s stories pointing to a history of ill treatment of the children entrusted to those places came as a shock. Among our people, such a thing is unthinkable. The idea that there might be more children out there, others suffering as you and Raini suffered, is of great concern to her.”
She leaned back against the hard chest again with another long sigh. This was all too unreal. It had to be a dream.
Nobody listens to the words of an orphan – a thief.
“Will you help her?”
Ivoreth blinked, her mind suddenly called back to the topic of Lord Elrohir’s conversation.
Help who? Lord Elladan’s sister? He’s really serious?
“I’ll tell her as much as I can,” Ivoreth agreed reluctantly, “but I can’t tell her where we were. I won’t…” She caught back the rest of her statement. Just the admitting to the fact that there were indeed others was already a partial betrayal.
The large hand smoothed her hair again. “That’s all that is asked, little one. But would you not want to help those who were with you to better their futures too?”
“Not if it means turning them over to an orphanage!” slipped out in a bitter, biting tone before she could think better of it. She cringed, waiting for the harsh words and blows that were her usual payment for such insolence. The last time she’d talked back to anyone in that way, she’d been thrown into a wall – and before that, using that tone with any adult, including her Da, had usually earned her a scolding and either a slap or a heavy cuff that would drive her to the floor.
“Shhhh…” Lord Elrohir’s arm about her shoulder tightened slightly. “Nobody would ask that of you – especially if they were aware of the nature of the stories you heard when you were younger.”
Slowly Ivoreth relaxed again as Lord Elrohir showed no signs of striking her or even speaking sternly to her, and finally she closed her eyes and leaned again as his free hand kept on stroking her hair slowly. Out in the garden, Raini laughed again, and Lord Elladan laughed with her.
He’s being too nice. Life is never this good. This has to be a dream.
Please don’t let me wake up!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Daren!”
Ivoreth came straight up in her bed, her heart pounding and her eyes searching the darkness wildly. Then she slowly lay back down against her comfortable pillow and pulled the soft, warm blanket over her shoulders. After a few moments of being unable to prevent the tears from welling up, she rolled to one side and clenched her eyes shut tight.
Only a dream!
It had seemed so real – she could see her little brother in a small group of boys off in the distance. She’d waved, but he hadn’t seen her; and so she had begun running. But the harder she ran, the further away Daren had become. Finally, she had seen a Guard come from behind the group and, with a drawn sword, begin herding the boys away from her. When the sword had begun swinging, she had awakened.
For three nights, now, she’d had the same dream. And for three nights, she hadn’t been able to go back to sleep, for fear of seeing the consequences of that swinging sword. For the first time in her life, Ivoreth found herself praying that Daren had been taken off to an orphanage and then sold – at least then he’d still be alive. And if Da’s tales were the truth, the chance to run away and make a better life for himself would come someday. But if the sword’s swing were final…
No. She wouldn’t even consider that.
Ivoreth heard the door to the bedroom she shared with her sister open quietly, and she knew there was a low light entering the room through her closed eyelids. A weight settled on the bed next to her. “Another bad dream?” asked a musical voice in a whisper. She nodded, rolled toward her visitor and opened her eyes.
She was sure she would never get used to the idea that someone actually cared enough to hear her when she cried out and come to see that she was all right, much less that this person would pull her up into warm arms and hold her close. And yet, for each of the nights that her dreams had brought her straight up in bed with a cry, Lord Elladan had come in to her soon after she awoke and, with a hug and a shoulder to lean on, given her comfort. He didn’t tell her that she was just being silly for getting so upset over a dream – he just held her close and made her feel safe.
And, as he had each of the previous times, he asked about the dream. “Won’t you tell me about it?” he whispered into her ear, this time adding, “How can I help you if you won’t tell me what it is that breaks your sleep this way?”
You can’t help me – you can’t bring Daren back.
Ivoreth slowly moved her arms to encircle Lord Elladan’s neck and clung. “Daren,” was all she could manage before her throat closed down on her.
“Tell me.” The arms tightened. “Nothing can harm you now – tell me what you saw in your dream.”
Slowly, painfully, Ivoreth told him her nightmare, finding that remembering the details was almost as bad as dreaming them again. Finally she just buried her nose under Lord Elladan’s chin. “I miss him,” she choked out.
“I know you do, little one,” Lord Elladan told her gently. “And I wish I could tell you that he’s safe and secure where he is. It is not knowing that is the worst, I think – you have all the time in the world to think up all the most horrible things that could happen.”
“Yes…” she agreed, her voice quivering.
He does understand!
“Why do I keep dreaming the same thing every night?” Ivoreth asked after a long moment.
“Because that is when your mind is quiet enough that all your fears and worries can visit you without being interrupted,” he explained in a soft voice, “and because that is when you are most open for your imagination to run away with you.” She felt him loosened his hold and pulled her away from him a little so that he could look into her face. “But talking about your fears with someone else can help. Every time you face your worries and fears enough to speak of them robs them of a little bit of their power to interrupt your sleep.”
She searched his face for signs that he was just telling her stories – and found only an open expression of fondness and concern. “Do you ever have bad dreams?” she asked with a small voice.
“Oh yes!” Lord Elladan pulled her back to him. “Once, long ago, my dreams were truly terrifying,” he admitted. “Everyone has times like that, Ivoreth. But over time, my dreams slowly went away – and yours will too.”
“I don’t want to forget Daren,” Ivoreth complained softly.
“You won’t, sweetling,” he soothed. “But one day, the sad memories will only give you a dull ache, rather than make you suffer as you do now – and you will begin to be able to remember other things that were better.”
I don’t want to remember. I want Daren.
“Lord Elladan?”
“Just Elladan, Ivoreth. Such formality shouldn’t exist between members of a family.”
That thought, stated in such simple, gentle terms, took Ivoreth’s breath away.
Family. He considers me family?
“You wished to ask me something?” he whispered when Ivoreth didn’t continue.
“Family?” she whispered in wonder.
“Yes, family,” he replied, his voice smiling. “I am your foster father now.”
“But…” Ivoreth pushed herself away this time so that she could look up into what she could see of his face in the candlelight. “Why me? Why Raini?”
“Because you were the ones that Eru put in my path,” Elladan answered simply. “It was you that those Guards were attacking – and then you came to find me when Raini became too ill for you to take care of her. And the more I got to know you and your sister, the more fond I grew of you – until finally, I couldn’t just leave you two behind, not knowing what would happen to you.” He smoothed her hair back from her face. “Do you understand?”
No, I don’t. But I’m glad you chose us!
Ivoreth leaned forward again and gave a small smile when she felt the arms close around her as she nestled her nose beneath his chin again. Family! She wasn’t alone anymore. She closed her eyes and felt safer in that moment than she had since before her Da had died.
I just wish Daren were here to share this. He deserves a chance.
