Update #1

[aearwen]

...and the hard part of my stay has finally come to roost. This morning, my brother signed a sales contract that will prevent his house from going into foreclosure – but, of course, that means that he’s gonna have to pack up and move out of the house that he loves dearly and find somewhere else to live at some point in time. I watched his mood absolutely tank; and I think that if he hadn’t taken his antidepressants today, this might have been the last straw. I’m glad the Universe has made it possible for me to be here for him at this time.

Soooo… How did “we” respond to this? Well, today, we put in an employment application, and did some work on the documentation that he’s supposed to send to his State Congress Critter (who is supposedly dealing with Bank of America on its abuses of the mortgage market, despite being given all kinds of Federal funding to help people keep their homes.) Now that I’ve seen in detail all the shit – and there’s no nice name for it – that they’ve pulled, I’m even more appalled at the kinds of things they seem to be able to get away with, and do so with impunity.

There are times that I really wonder if I’m going to be able to be successful in getting him safely through this – or whether I’m over here waiting for my brother to off himself and be around for the funeral. The thing is, he sees the lights at the far end of the tunnel, but the path from where he is now to where the light actually is pooled so one can see where they’re going is utterly obscure. What makes matters worse are the contradictions and Catch-22’s (yes, plural) to his situation. Just discerning the proper way to proceed with all my faculties intact and unclouded by chronic depression is a HUGE undertaking; I can imagine that, from his perspective, it must seem incomprehensible and hopeless.

With all due respect to my SiL, she’s no help whatsoever. She’s good-hearted, and I think she wants to do the right thing, but she’s an utter and unapologetic materialist – and it is her driving need to “keep up with the Jones’” (most of whom are far more financially well off than she was cleaning their houses) and have the newest, biggest, baddest STUFF without apparent thought for living beyond her means that has driven them to this point. Before he married her, my brother’s house was comfortable and everything was paid for. If he had not refinanced to provide all that STUFF for his wife, he wouldn’t be in this mess.

I’m now in the position that I seriously don’t know just how long I’m going to be here. There’s too much STUFF in this house to fit into a small apartment – which is probably going to be the only thing they can afford – and there will have to be some kind of sale to downsize what they take with them. Packing up is going to test even my abilities to keep Dave alive, I’m afraid – because Judy pushes when she shouldn’t and doesn’t push when she should, and in many ways makes the situation a whole lot worse. Don’t get me wrong, I know that he loves her, and that she at least cares enough for him to get in contact with me – whom she really doesn’t like all that much – so I can help him in ways she can’t. But I honestly believe that, in many ways, he’d be better off without her.

Finally, there are the pets. Dave has three cats and an ancient cocker spaniel. He considers them his “kids”. All his life, he has wanted a white and a black cat – and now he has them: Cloud and Jet. When he’s forced out of his house, what is he gonna do with them – especially if the landlord doesn’t allow animals? This is a man who is losing his dreams in so many ways – losing his furry children as well WILL kill him.

I have to stay strong. I can’t let his situation make me emotionally distraught to the point that I can no longer be of help to him. But, I gotta admit, right now, all I want to do is go find myself a nice, dark corner and cry. My brother is a good man – honest and as kind as the day is long. He didn’t deserve what has happened to him, what IS happening to him, and a good share of what is yet to come.

This is so wrong.